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The Koch Addiction

by Barb Weir
Sunday, December 30th, 2012

Koch Addiction

It’s not every day that a U.S. Congressman wants to talk to a reporter about his addiction.  In keeping with his request for anonymity, however, I have deleted any references that might reveal his identity, and therefore refer to him in this report with a fictitious name, Congressman Boner.

Barb Weir:           Congressman Boner, when did you come to the realization that you had a Koch addiction?

Rep. Boner:          To tell you the truth, Barb, it wasn’t until I saw it among my colleagues that I realized how serious the problem had become.  My own Koch habit currently runs to $1.5 million, if you count all the pushers in the gang.  However, the Republican presidential campaign alone was fueled with $400 million in Koch money.  Many Republican House and Senate candidates have a similar problem, and the same is true for the state offices as well, from governors to the legislative assemblies.

Barb Weir:           Sounds like an epidemic.  Why was it so difficult to recognize?

Rep. Boner:          It’s insidious, Barb, and not always obvious.  A lot of Koch money is laundered in nonprofits with innocent-sounding names like Americans for Responsible Leadership, which get candidates hooked on Koch injections before they know it’s in their veins.

Barb Weir:           How do these injections work?

Rep. Boner:         The Koch pushers get the candidates high on slick advertising that boost the candidates’ careers, often without any overt contact with the campaign itself.  This makes them feel that they are more popular and important than they are, and it’s only later that they realize that they have a Koch dependency.

Barb Weir:           So what happens when the dependency takes hold?

Koch addicts will do almost anything to feed their habit.  They will rob from the poor, take money away from students, cut medical treatment for the ill, poison the environment, and steal from the elderly.

Rep. Boner:          This is the worst part, Barb.  Koch addicts will do almost anything to feed their habit.  They will rob from the poor, take money away from students, cut medical treatment for the ill, poison the environment, and steal from the elderly.  They also protect the Koch pushers and other cartel members like Wal-Mart, and make them wealthy beyond belief, which only leads to increasing addiction.  Koch addicts in Congress are currently engaged in a major struggle on taxes to assure that no one touches Koch or Wal-Mart money.

Barb Weir:           Am I mistaken, or is this a Republican problem?

Rep. Boner:          You’re not mistaken, Barb, but if Koch addiction is rampant among Republicans, Democrats are also under the thumb of other pushers, mostly corporations.  In fact, many of these corporate pushers try to keep a stable of junkies on both sides of the aisle.  How do you think the tax rate got pushed down from 91% in the 1950s to 34% today?

Barb Weir:           So what’s the solution?

Rep. Boner:          Fear is still the great motivator.  It’s how we get Americans to make great sacrifices to attack Afghanistan, Iraq and other countries that pose no danger to us.  But it sometimes works the other way.  Corporate America was afraid of what millions of American soldiers might do if they returned from the Second World War and found no jobs, so they accepted a GI bill, a cabinet level Veterans Department and unprecedented free education and social benefits, as well as consumer and societal protections.  If the public ceases to fear its public officials and instead fills their officials with fear, things will change.

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Posted by on December 30, 2012. Filed under America,Comedy,Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

17 Responses to The Koch Addiction

  1. Ariadna Theokopoulos

    December 30, 2012 at 2:57 pm

    “Democrats are also under the thumb of other pushers, mostly corporations.”

    Like Soros

    • Roy Bard

      December 30, 2012 at 3:12 pm

      “Like Soros”

      And AIPAC ….

      • Ariadna Theokopoulos

        December 30, 2012 at 5:45 pm

        How negligent of me to omit the industry most akin to modern banking: making money for Israel out of thin air, using imaginary existential threats and pain the way financial “instruments” are used.

    • Deadbeat

      December 30, 2012 at 9:01 pm

      I think the person you’re looking for is Haim Saban who own the Brooking Institute. He’s proclaim that Israel is his number one political concern. Saban is known as the single largest contributor to the Democratic Party.

      There seems to be a focus by the “Progressive Left” (and kudos to Atzmon for his exposure of the Progressive Left) to focus on the Koch Brothers and to leave Saban (as well as Soros) in the shadows.

      They were pretty much forced this election season to spend some time on the bombastic Sheldon Adelman who with his Israeli wife made it publicly clear they were buying Zionist influence of the Republican party.

      We see during Christmas time Amy Goodman making her annual proclamation of not taking “corporate” money but don’t mind taking corporate-laundered money that comes through mostly Jewish-dominated foundations. Her concern about the donation pool in the wake of the Madoff scandal was most revealing.

  2. Blake

    December 30, 2012 at 5:48 pm

    Ariadna someone once asked me if the Koch family were Jews. I have not really studied up on them but would you know the answer to that?

    • Ariadna Theokopoulos

      December 30, 2012 at 6:30 pm

      No, they are Texas big sharks–the land where a few large Goyim predators (Pickens) not only still roam but come in handy for hasbarats playing at defending Obama against the bad white (non-jewish) imperialists.
      Macow has a few opinions on them:
      http://www.henrymakow.com/koch.html

    • Roy Bard

      December 30, 2012 at 8:28 pm

      Blake: “someone once asked me if the Koch family were Jews. I have not really studied up on them but would you know the answer to that?”

      According to this site:

      While the Koch family is Jewish, their philanthropy has never been visible in that community nor has their interest in far-right Israeli politics been evident.”

      NOTE: The Koch brothers are Jewish by ethnicity, but Catholic by religion.

      whilst The Jewish Voice notes:

      t has come to our attention that the Koch Brothers in all likelihood are not Jewish. Their active involvement in conservative politics has, however, earned them the support of such outspoken Jewish Zionists as Sheldon Adelson. Furthermore, it is commonly assumed by anti-Semites that the Koch brothers—whose name is pronounced “Coke,” and not the same as former NYC mayor Ed Koch—are in fact Jews, as this fits in well with their conspiracy theories, reality notwithstanding.

      • David Holden

        December 30, 2012 at 9:42 pm

        Roy, techy point. due to Ariadne’s unclosed emphasis tag, leading to mass italicization on that page, i noticed this little bit of rogue html. minor point, but…professionalism

        “i also fell victim to a bold tag typo in my “holiday in Israel” comment” (responding to Blake) on Daniel’s recent post “Team Palestina : Charity With Sectarian Teeth”

        the rogue tag shows in the text, i wd be grateful if someone could fix it.

        • Ariadna Theokopoulos

          December 30, 2012 at 11:59 pm

          My capacity for forgiveness amazes me.
          It has been acquired over a long life.
          Had we been classmates in the primary school I wouldn’t have been able to treat your: “”She did it, teach, it was she!” like this.
          No. I would have given you a couple of knuckle sandwiches on the spot even if the teacher was looking.

          • David Holden

            December 31, 2012 at 12:41 am

            Ariadna, sorry if you feel i have taken your name in vain.

            i had manfully suppressed the anguish i naturally felt at the impact dilution of my holiday in Israel micro-extravaganza. the effort of composition seems worthless. i knew only a few keypresses from one of our IT-stars could fix it. but being diffident, i hesitated to request. then seeing what i have described gave me a reasonable excuse to request the required correction.

            i am heartily sorry i brought you into this Ariadna. perhaps it was churlish to use your own accidental infringement as a context.

            but, hey, i believe in STANDARDS. for me people who don’t give a shit about the English language are not going to be any more discriminating in higher-impact activities. it is one of the great things about anti-intellectualism – careful expression should be subordinated to “revolutionary intuition”.

            as a reader i pay little attention to writers who don’t bother to work on the language. for me it is the same with websites. if people can’t be arsed about one thing, then what confidence can you place in their ability to be arsed about anything.

            when i make a post, God allows me to edit that post, and even the comments others make. where i have been able to do so i have corrected many typos for others (unrequested, and so far, unacknowleged). i have nopt attempted to subtly alter ther meaning. as an editor i give the same service to enemies as i giver to friends. that is called integrity. it enhances life.

            what is the problem? we are doing a website. people are expressing opinions. why shouldn’t deLiberation aspire to high standards in the expression of exactly what the writer intended? why shouldn’t we all wish that the thought of someone, even someone we profoundly disagree with, should be transmitted with typographic faithfulness?

            it does actually piss me off more than you might think. to me it is like an insidious form of censorship. we are undermined by the vagaries of accidental error.

            this lack of attention to detail suggests to me a lack of faith in the value of the enterprise as a whole. very typical of the world today.

        • Roy Bard

          December 31, 2012 at 12:54 am

          Hi DH

          I think I fixed the typo – please let me know if there’s a further problem with it.

          Unfortunately I made a mistake and edited your comment reporting it – but fortunately I’m able to fix it (and now have – sorry about that :-( )

          The error in the image needs to be done by JB as its on a template I think.

          • David Holden

            December 31, 2012 at 11:40 pm

            thanks, Roy. i don’t wish to call on much editorial time sorting out typos, but when the impact of a contribution seems seriously compromised i hope it is ok to ask. if the text all goes bold or italic from some seemingly random point onwards, that does diminish impact. i’ve seen some of Ariadna’s work affected in this way too, though because of her chronic intermittent typo disorder she seems to bear it with more fortitude than i can muster.

            the ‘template’ error isn’t of any consequence, but i’m sure JB would want to correct it.

    • Blake

      December 31, 2012 at 10:45 pm

      Thanks guys and HAPPY NEW YEAR.

  3. Deadbeat

    December 30, 2012 at 9:21 pm

    Patriarch, Fred Koch was a founding member of the John Birch Society (JBS). This is the major reason why the Jewish Left targets the Koch Brothers.

    JBS is a paleo-conservative organization, is staunchly anti-marxist and anti-communist. Interestingly, JBS was against the Vietnam War. Clearly, this makes John Birch a threat to Jewish power and one of the reasons why they’ve been labelled “racists” by the Left.

    There is a clips on You Tube featuring a Black former CPUSA member in a speech given to JBS in the late 1950′s – early 1960′s where he exposes CPUSA role and aims and their goals of the Civil Right movement. Clearly their aim is to use the proletariat as useful idiots in the larger scheme of global domination.

    If there is any problem with JBS is their unwillingness to come out as say “Jewish power” otherwise that my threaten their non-profit status. This inhibition is probably why JBS make a great whipping post for the Left. It is difficult to battle your enemies with one hand tied behind your back.

    Anyway understanding Fred Koch’s role in founding JBS helps to bring into perspective the underlying reasons for the Left’s visceral attacks against the Koch Brothers.

  4. pgg804

    December 30, 2012 at 9:23 pm

    I suspect they are not Jewish for several reasons taken together. Koch is a German name, there is a significant ethnic German population in Texas and the clincher being they support the Tea Party of which Ron Paul’s son is a powerful figure.

    I think Jewish interests are opposed to the Tea Party. If the Koch family is Jewish, then it appears they are only of Jewish ancestry and have no connection to the religion or other Jews as a group.

  5. David Holden

    December 31, 2012 at 12:45 am

    by the way, a brilliant piece, Barb ;-)

  6. Barb Weir

    January 1, 2013 at 12:18 am

    This group has by far the most intelligent discussion of any that I have encountered. Especially David’s comment. Thank you David.

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