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Israeli Forces Arrest 1-year-old Palestinian Terrorist

by Barb Weir
Sunday, January 20th, 2013

Israeli Captain Ramit Dan-Dertroht arrests 1-year-old Palestinian Terrorist Qamar Awad in the south Hebron hills

Israeli Captain Ramit Dan-Dertroht arrests 1-year-old Palestinian terrorist Qamar Awad in the south Hebron hills

Alert Israeli forces yesterday thwarted a potential terrorist attack by a 1-year-old Palestinian.  The terrorist, Qamar Awad, was among nineteen arrested on land in the south Hebron hills that is in the process of being liberated from Palestinians.  I spoke to the Israeli commander of the operation, Captain Ramit Dan-Dertroht.

 

Barb Weir:            Captain Dan-Dertroht, is this the youngest terrorist that you have arrested?

 

Capt. Ramit Dan-Dertroht:            I’m pretty sure it is, unless you count the pregnant woman that gave birth while trying to cross a checkpoint without permission.

 

Barb Weir:            How did you learn of the terrorist threat?

 

Capt. Ramit Dan-Dertroht:            Our intelligence sources are the best in the world, Barb.  We discovered that they had announced the terrorist action on multiple email list serves and had encouraged as many terrorists as possible to participate.

 

Barb Weir:            What was the intended target?

 

Capt. Ramit Dan-Dertroht:            The land, Barb.  They were attempting to break the soil in some places, and to allow their animals to consume native plants.  We were sent to protect it.

 

Barb Weir:            Whose land is it?

 

Capt. Ramit Dan-Dertroht:            They consider it their land just because they have lived here for hundreds of years and because they have deeds to it.  However, that gives them no right to abuse it, and it is Israeli policy to do all we can to liberate it from them.

They consider it their land just because they have lived here for hundreds of years and because they have deeds to it.

Barb Weir:            How will you do that?

 

Capt. Ramit Dan-Dertroht:            The law states that if they don’t use the land for three years, it reverts to the state.  Therefore, our job is to make sure they don’t come here.  In other places we build a wall for that purpose, but we think we can manage without it here.

 

Barb Weir:            Didn’t the High Court recently rule that the military must facilitate access of these people to their land?

 

Capt. Ramit Dan-Dertroht:            That’s true, Barb, but that task has been assigned to another unit.  Our job is facilitate exit from the land.

 

Barb Weir:            So where is the other unit?

 

Capt. Ramit Dan-Dertroht:            I’m not sure.  I heard they were assigned to submarine duty.

 

Barb Weir:            Did the arrested terrorists give you much trouble?

 

Capt. Ramit Dan-Dertroht:            You have no idea, Barb – especially the 1-year-old.  We interrogated her for hours, but she refused to answer questions or sign a statement.  Usually we withhold bathroom privileges until they comply, but they are responding with new resistance techniques.  This one brazenly urinated and defecated in front of us, and screamed at us the whole time.  I’m telling you, these Palestinian terrorists are getting tougher.

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Posted by on January 20, 2013. Filed under Comedy,Israel,Palestine,Satire. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0. You can skip to the end and leave a response. Pinging is currently not allowed.

24 Responses to Israeli Forces Arrest 1-year-old Palestinian Terrorist

  1. Blake

    January 22, 2013 at 4:36 am

    I seriously cannot see how civilized human beings who do not live under a rock can support this insanity. End this despicable charade called “Israel”!

    • Barb Weir

      January 23, 2013 at 12:55 am

      It’s pretty crowded under that rock.

  2. maria3

    January 22, 2013 at 11:27 am

    This insanity is beyond comprehension.
    Interrogate a one year old?
    Ant the world looks on.
    I guess with all these wars people have become numb or when it is not in their
    backyard they don’t care.

    • Barb Weir

      January 23, 2013 at 12:58 am

      Live bamboo is becoming the backyard fencing material of choice. It grows to 50 feet or more.

      • fool me once...

        January 23, 2013 at 10:50 am

        Looks like even the backyard fencing you mention is getting the treatment, soon to be renamed “bamjoo”.
        .
        “You’ll stand before this tiny sprout and tap your foot impatiently grumbling, “Grow already grow!
        Is this my reward for going out on a sweltering summer day to dig a hole under the scorching sun’s rays to plant you? I did it lovingly though. I planted you with love and hope. I obtained the best soil for you. I fed you the most nutritious plant food and watered you religiously. I withheld neither toil nor money.
        If you don’t start growing within 3 days, I’m going to pluck you from the land of the living! I mean it, you’ll see these are no empty threats!
        Your frustration will know no bounds! You’ll want to pounce on it and stomp the life out of it!”
        http://www.jewishwriting.com/pages/articles/chinese.html

  3. Cosmo

    January 23, 2013 at 11:12 am

    I don’t really get it, IDF soldiers allowsa mother to take her child with her while she is being arrested. What would you rather have them do?
    The better question is why on earth would she bring such a young child to a protest.
    http://youtu.be/tuuC6XBkxX8

    • Roy Bard

      January 23, 2013 at 11:25 am

      Cosmo: “What would you rather have them do?”

      As the article notes:

      They consider it their land just because they have lived here for hundreds of years and because they have deeds to it.

      So the obvious answer is leave them alone……

    • fool me once...

      January 23, 2013 at 8:24 pm

      @Cosmo
      Are you ok? Have you given up on the hasbara? You could have at least said that Reema had been caught smashing up a tank and her baby daughter was throwing petrol bombs at idf soldiers doing a charity fun run.
      You don’t seem too bothered about preserving israel’s unblemished record on human rights any more. You know the way those soldiers treated Reema and her baby was wrong, don’t you? Remember they have spent their whole life in poverty under occupation, whilst you’ve been planning your life and dreaming your dreams.
      You said;
      July 3, 2012 at 4:13 pm
      “On the other hand if someone is mistreating Palestinians in a checkpoint I will demand he will stop.”
      .
      What is your idea of “mistreating”?

      • Cosmo

        January 24, 2013 at 8:42 am

        What is your idea of “mistreating”?
        Obviously not what I see in this video. Seems like these border police soldiers are being as gentle as possible with her. More than I usually see the police handling demonstrators across Europe. They are trying to calm her down so she wouldn’t harm her baby.

      • fool me once...

        January 24, 2013 at 1:53 pm

        @Cosmo
        “The better question is why on earth would she bring such a young child to a protest.”
        I think you should be asking that question to your jew buddies at the West Bank Esh Kodesh outpost, near the Shiloh settlement;
        http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=P7rGsUAUGJ0
        .
        Even the Jerusalem Post reports that;
        “Security sources in turn said they were investigating an incident that occurred in the middle of the night in which settlers vandalized about 100 trees belonging to the Kusra village. It further alleged that the settlers entered the village and destroyed windows and vandalized a tractor.”
        http://www.jpost.com/DiplomacyAndPolitics/Article.aspx?id=298124
        Do you agree there was “a recent High Court of Justice ruling mandated that the Palestinians be allowed to plough a tract of land near the outpost” or with Aron Katsof’s delusions?

    • Ariadna Theokopoulos

      January 24, 2013 at 2:00 pm

      “The better question is why on earth would she bring such a young child to a protest.”

      Palestinians do that all the time and worse: they let their children play outside although they know that all around an inside the village is a “military zone.” Then they complain of their children get killed.
      They just bring it upon themselves.

  4. Rachamim Ben Ami

    January 29, 2013 at 12:51 pm

    How naïve and gullible can readers be? I am actually amazed that even a single person imagined this “incident” to be authentic. It is a fake story: “Is this the youngest person you have ever arrested?” “Except for the pregnant woman who I refused to let pass a checkpoint.” “What are you protecting?” “They were trying to break to ground in several places.” It isn’t even intelligent satire. It is sheer and utter nonsense and those of you who thought it was real really need to re-think your views (as well as your critical thinking skills). If you believed this childish propaganda what other lies have you believed?

    The truth of the matter is that Israel only controls a portion of the so called “West Bank,” one of 3 sectors, Area C. Within Area C, Israel is retaining virtually all “Settlements” and the Palestinian Authority has already agreed to this vis a vis the 1:1 Land Swap comprising 7.03% of the entire so called “West Bank.” In exchange, Israel is ceding an equal amount of Israeli land to the Palestinian Authority. When the Palestinian Authority unilaterally trashed the Peace Process in 2010 all that remained was the choice of Israeli territory from within the Greenline that will be ceded. President Mahmoud Abbas and company knew that were they to sign on the dotted line it would signal the end of Fatah’s control of the Palestinian Authority. They have been ruling without a mandate since 2009 when Abbas indefinitely delayed the election. Signing would compel Abbas to call for elections. Ergo, the entire “Settlement” issue is nothing but an ideological and geopolitical Strawman.

    As 1 poster commented here already, just 2 weeks ago the Israeli High Court, equivalent to the Americans’ Supreme Court, awarded land to a “Palestinian” village and Israeli soldiers and border police then used violence against “Settlers” to protect “Palestinians.” Stop believing ignorant and racist propaganda.

    • Ariadna Theokopoulos

      January 29, 2013 at 2:58 pm

      Despite the fact that you have problems comprehending satire, you do contribute new information in your response. Like this, which amazed me:
      “In exchange, Israel is ceding an equal amount of Israeli land to the Palestinian Authority.”
      What is “Israeli land”–is it chunks of land they brought with them from Kiev or Brooklyn, etc and then stored on top of Palestinians land to have something to trade with?
      This was moving:
      “Israeli soldiers and border police then used violence against “Settlers” to protect “Palestinians.”
      I read it on the bus and I sobbed openly, both out of respect for the IOF dedication to the law and for the suffering of the settlers. When, oh when will Jewish suffering end?

      • fool me once...

        January 30, 2013 at 12:01 am

        @AT
        “When, oh when will Jewish suffering end?”
        Don’t look like any time soon;
        .
        “Rupert Murdoch has apologised for a “grotesque, offensive” cartoon printed in the Sunday Times that has led to complaints of anti-Semitism.”
        “Chief Rabbi Lord Sacks said it had “caused immense pain to the Jewish community in the UK and around the world…Whatever the intention, the danger of such images is that they reinforce a great slander of our time: that Jews, victims of the Holocaust, are now perpetrators of a similar crime against the Palestinians,” he said in a statement.”
        .
        A 7min interview (scroll down) with Stephan Pollard of the jewish Chronicle and Steve Bell, well worth a listen.
        http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-21239917

        • searching

          January 30, 2013 at 12:11 am

          “they reinforce a great SLANDER of our time: that Jews, victims of the Holocaust, are now perpetrators of a similar crime against the Palestinians,”
          he said in a statement.”

          IT IS NOT a Slander.
          It is the TRUTH.
          The Truth .
          Why do they think they are dealing with morons??
          Granted , many shabesgoyim are morons and cowards, many goyim are totally ignorant and indifferent, but people ARE slowly waking up and start to smell the coffee.

    • fool me once...

      January 29, 2013 at 4:04 pm

      @Rachamim Ben Ami
      An interesting first name you’ve got there Rachamim. Have you checked out to see what it means?
      “It is defined as “bowels, tender love, and pity” and “compassion, mercy and grace”.
      Well you’ve discharged the first description in your opening comment, now let’s see if can display any of the remaining five.
      .
      “As 1 poster commented here already…Israeli soldiers and border police then used violence against “Settlers”
      Actually the report said the “Settlers” had crept into the village in the middle of the night and;
      “…vandalized about 100 trees belonging to the Kusra village. It further alleged that the settlers entered the village and destroyed windows and vandalized a tractor.”
      corroborated by;
      “The Yesh Din NGO similarly told the Post that settlers had attacked the village, including entering a home. It added that it counted 220 vandalized olive trees.”
      So according to the accountable “jews on the ground” it looks like the “Settlers” acted like a bunch of thugs. Creeping around at night time and smashing peoples property up.
      “Stop believing ignorant and racist propaganda.”
      Are you now saying the IDF, border police, Jerusalem Post and the Yesh Din NGO are all perpetrating ignorant and racist propaganda AGAINST the jews?
      .
      Regarding Barbs article, where did you get your QUOTES from? They are all your own words not Barbs. Even I know you’re not supposed to use quotation “marks” when you make shit up, doing so makes you look like a bullshitter.
      Calm down and try again. BTW you can read about what your name means here;
      http://www.bridgesforpeace.com/dispatch/article/compassion-rachamim/

    • fool me once...

      January 29, 2013 at 5:11 pm

      @RBA
      Not wanting to labour the point, or be offensive for that matter, but with your sloppy quoting are you a previous poster called “seinfeld” who used the justification;
      “I was typing from memory, lots of scrolling up and down”
      to explain his inaccuracies? If you are, then good cos he was a lot more reasonable and interesting than other zionist chancer’s trying to sell their wares on deLib.

    • Blake

      January 29, 2013 at 9:44 pm

      Why make it about zones? ALL of “Israel” is zio occupied Palestine. Period.

    • Ariadna Theokopoulos

      January 29, 2013 at 11:32 pm

      Nice to see you back, if it is indeed “you,” but this video clashes with your other post.
      This video is strange, supposedly coming from a Palestinian, yet going on and on about the “gas chambers” and the suffering of the Jews and laying on thick the “brother” bit, repeating the myth that the Ashkenazi Jews hail from Palestine.

  5. searching

    January 29, 2013 at 11:49 pm

    Yeah, it is me. Thank you.
    I try to cut down my internet usage (especially commenting) becuse it gets too me.
    Anyway the song is pretty neat.
    Ancient Israeli ,( Hebrews), and Arab people do have common ancestor–Abraham , according to the Bible’s Old Testament.
    Granted , those who call nowadays themselves ,Jews, do not have too much in common with ancient Israeli from the Bible, much less their religion , Judaism, which is basically a mixture of some picked -and-chosen old customs,prayers, laws from the Moses’s Law (Torah), combined with occultic Kabbalah and racists Talmud.

  6. searching

    January 30, 2013 at 12:01 am

    it is adctually quite interesting like Jewish , so called elite ,continues to deceive the whole world. ”
    One– with their” background, ( Shlomo Sand and Gilad Atzmon explained it in their books).
    Two– with “their” religion, which has not too much to do with the orginal , ancient Israeli religion .
    The Judaism is not a some kind of a continuation of ancient Hebrews religion, ( Chosen nation and so on), but a man-made hybryd, a zombie created to suck blood of naive goyim and keep them in check,as well as fuel fear of anti-Semitism that unites “all the Jews of the world, “who are , oh so special, and everbody is, oh, so envious of them” .

    • Jonathon Blakeley

      January 30, 2013 at 12:02 am

      Hey Searching Yeh, You are back .
      great to hear from you again.

      • searching

        January 30, 2013 at 12:07 am

        Thank you Jonathan. I did read the deliberation site and recommended it wherever/whenever I could in the meantime:).
        Please listen to the video of a Belgian MP Laurent Louis I posted here.
        An excellent , very courageous speech.

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