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How to recognise an Anti-semite


(G) Sir Goldstein

(Zionist) Anti-semite Finder General!

(M) ‘Alleged Anti-semite’ man

(B1, B2, B3) Bloggers one, two and three

Bloggers: We have found an anti-semite! ( Anti-semite! Anti-semite!)

denounce him denounce him!

Blogger 1: We have found an anti-semite, may we denounce him?


G: How do you known he is a anti-semite?

B2: He looks like one!

G: Bring him forward


Man: I’m not a anti-semite! I’m not anti-Semitic at all!

G: ehh… but you talk like one.

M: They put those words in my mouth!

All: naah no we didn’t… no.

M: And this isn’t my blog, it’s a fake one.

(G pulls up web page)

G: Well?

B1: Well we did fake the Blog.

G: The comments?

B1: …And the comments, but he is an anti-semite!

(all: yeah, denounce him denounce him!)

G: Did you put those words in his mouth?

B1: No! (no no… no) Yes. (yes yeah) a bit (a bit bit a bit) But he is suspicious!

(B3 An he does ask questions that he should not. Look here he uses the word ‘if..?’)

G: What makes you think he is an anti-semite?

B2: Well, he doesn’t like Seinfeld!

G: Seinfeld!?!

(B2 pause & look around)

B2: Well who does.


B3: Denounce him anyway! (Denounce him Denounce him Denounce him!)

(Zionist walks in)

G: There are ways of telling whether he is an anti-semite.

B1: Are there? Well then tell us! (tell us)

G: Tell me… what do you do with anti-semites?

B3: Label them! Insult them! Ban their books (Lock them up)

G: What do you lock up apart from anti-semites?

B1: More anti-semites! (B2 nudge B1)


B3: Neo-nazis!

G: So, why are anti-semites dangerous?

(long pause)

B2: Cuz they… ask questions that are not allowed?

G: Gooood.

(crowd congratulates B2)

G: So, how do we tell if he hates jews?

B1: Ask him what he thinks about Alan Greenspan?

G: Ah, but not liking Alan Greenspan does not mean that you hate all jews?

B1: Oh yeah…

G: Do Jews believe they are just like other peoples?

B1: No

B3: No. They are the chosen ones!

B1: Let’s throw comments at him via a blog! (yeah yeah ya!)

G: What also is chosen by God?

B1: Madonna

B3: Lady Gaga

B2: Justin Bieber

(G looks annoyed)

B1: The Pope

B3: Squirrels

B1: Dragons

B3: Potatoes

Zionist: Israel!

(all look and stare at the Zionist)

G: Exactly! So, logically…

B1(thinking): If he believes that Jews are not a special case and chosen by God and that Israel was not chosen for the Jews by God… he’s suspicious and therefore…

G: And therefore,

(pause & think)

B3: An anti-semite! (B1: anti-semite)(B2: anti-semite)(all: anti-semite!)

G: Let’s ask him about Israel.

All: Anti-semite! Anti-semite! Anti-semite!

Loosely based on the Monty Python’s “She’s a witch burn her” sketch.

by Anonymous

Found on Pastebin


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