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Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas and Harvard Law Professor Alan Dershowitz.  Background: Dimona nuclear reactor.

Dershowitz Breaks Mideast Deadlock, Promises to Fix

 

Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas and Harvard Law Professor Alan Dershowitz. Background: Dimona nuclear reactor.

The Israeli daily newspaper Haaretz announced September 25, 2012, that Harvard law professor and Israel advocate Alan Dershowitz had broken the deadlock between Israel and the Palestinian Authority with a revolutionary new plan for a settlement freeze.  Details of the plan, however, indicate that the deadlock will be easy to repair.

Dershowitz is admired among Israelis for applying his courtroom tactics of distorting the truth in defense of Israel.  His credibility among Palestinians is less well known, and rests upon his efforts to prevent the demolition of Palestinian homes, which he cleverly accomplishes by giving them to privileged Jews.

Such skills enabled him to obtain an agreement from Palestinian President Mahmoud Abbas to resume the peace process in return for the settlement freeze. This reporter has since been able to talk to Professor Dershowitz and get the following details about the plan, not all of which have yet been shared with President Abbas:

  • All settlement activity, including construction, annexation of Palestinian lands and demolition of Palestinian homes will be frozen whenever and wherever the temperature drops below freezing.  [Note: freezing occurs at higher elevations in the West Bank in the few hours before dawn five to ten nights per year, in January and February.]
  • The Palestinian Authority and Israeli government negotiators will conduct peace talks at any time that the temperature at the site of the talks remains above freezing.
  • The talks will be located on top of the nuclear reactor in Dimona.
  • The Palestinian Authority will be represented by any of the children below the age of 16 currently held in an Israeli prison.
  • Israel will be represented by the chairperson (currently Dani Dayan) of the Yesha Council of Israeli settlements in the West Bank.
  • The negotiation teams are not permitted to take bathroom breaks at the same time.
  • The Israeli representative will retain control of the reactor temperature at all times, including bathroom breaks when the Palestinian representative is alone above the reactor.
  • The talks will continue as long as the Palestinian Authority negotiates in good faith.
  • The good faith requirement applies only to Palestinian negotiators.
  • The Israeli government shall provide the definition of the term “good faith” and any amendments that may be made thereto during the period of negotiation.

Dershowitz considers himself “an honest broker”, a statement with which renowned broker Bernie Madoff heartily agreed when I visited him in prison last week.  “President Abbas is a very easy man to work with,” said Dershowitz.  “He has instructed Palestinian ambassadors to participate in ceremonies marking the Holocaust, and he is not asking Israel to reverse its prohibition against ceremonies marking the Nakba (ethnic cleansing) of Palestine.”

Abbas was also optimistic.  “I believe that we can negotiate as equals.  Israel has already indicated that out of the 4.7 million registered refugees, it will accept the return of as many as a hundred that were twenty-five years or older when they voluntarily left of their own accord at the request of Arab leaders and without fear of Israeli ethnic cleansing activities in 1948, as well as an unlimited number of those who have died abroad.  In addition, they have promised to return all Palestinian land and remove all settlements and settlers from such land, provided that they decide what constitutes Palestinian land.  (See “Ehud Barak’s (latest) ‘Generous Offer’ to the Palestinians”.)

I have already recognized Israel’s right to exist, and this is a good basis for begging them to permit the existence of a demilitarized Palestinian state surrounded by Israeli territory without water or mineral rights or air space, on which a remnant of the Palestinian population may live.  I owe it to my people to achieve this dream.

 

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3 Responses to Dershowitz Breaks Mideast Deadlock, Promises to Fix

  1. fool me once... October 1, 2012 at 4:09 pm #

    “The Israeli representative will retain control of the reactor temperature at all times, including bathroom breaks.”
    It appears the conniving Mr Dershowitz has been doing some forward planning to accommodate his fellow piss takers, with the help of a certain Brooklynian, Barry Moskowitz;
    http://www.nydailynews.com/new-york/brooklyn/kosher-diapers-a-hit-orthodox-brooklyn-moms-velcro-trick-article-1.1137028

    • Barb Weir October 1, 2012 at 10:04 pm #

      Reality is always stranger than anything we can make up.

  2. fool me once... October 2, 2012 at 2:43 am #

    “Reality is always stranger than anything we can make up.”
    Too true BW!
    At first it may seem my comment is going off topic but I’ll bring it back on track after a bit of back ground.
    A British TV celebrity whom you may or may not be familiar with, died recently by the name of Jimmy Savile 85. He appeared regularly on the BBC for decades. From Public Information films to presenting Top of the Pops to his own peak viewing Jim’ll Fix It weekly show. He was a very very CREEPY man who was well connected. He was in the company of Prime Ministers, Royalty, the Pope, high profile musicians, serial killers (Yorkshire Ripper) etc. He referred to himself as a “fixer” among other things. Known for his “charitable endeavours” and eccentric behaviour he was generally liked by the public.
    Breaking news casts doubts over his reputation and threatens to undercover a dark, sinister, depraved character that lay just below the surface. (it’s giving me the creeps just writing this :( )
    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Jimmy_Savile
    Anyways, back on track and related to your piece on a shady character “solving problems” for the the israelis.
    “In 1977, Israel’s Prime Minister Menachem Begin had a meeting with Egyptian president Anwar Sadat.
    This led to ‘peace’ between the two countries.
    A Manchester businessman, Benny Sternberg, revealed that Savile had been approached to explore the possibility of a meeting between Sadat and Begin because of his friendship with the family of the Egyptian president’s wife Jehan.
    Savile described himself as “the only yok with a Yiddishe kop”.
    Sir Jimmy Savile received a medal from Israel in 1979, for services rendered;
    http://aangirfan.blogspot.co.uk/2012/10/jimmy-savile-fixed-it-for-israel.html?m=1
    http://technorati.com/entertainment/celebrity/article/how-jim-the-sabra-fixed-it/
    http://website.thejc.com/home.aspx?AId=4150&ATypeId=1&search=true2&srchstr=+%2Bjimmy+%2Bsaville+&srchtxt=0&srchhead=1&srchauthor=0&srchsandp=0&scsrch=0
    .
    Some pictures;
    http://i2.mirror.co.uk/incoming/article89847.ece/ALTERNATES/s615/image-11-for-the-real-jimmy-saville-gallery-86756199.jpg
    http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2008/05_03/brownDM0905_468x307.jpg
    http://i48.tinypic.com/3149z6t.jpg
    As you say, stranger than fiction!!!

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