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Author Archive | Barb Weir

Stewbert

Wow! Stewart, Colbert speechless about Gaza

CORRECTION:  Stewart did this segment on July 14, 2014: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FqKu5rSTyP8. Obviously, nothing of significance has happened since then, which means that no muzzling is taking place. This reporter has learned that by an extraordinary coincidence, neither Jon Stewart of The Daily Show nor Stephen Colbert of The Colbert Report has anything to say about the […]

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Diane Sawyer lies

Barb Weir apologizes to Diane Sawyer

Diane Sawyer, Anchorwoman ABC World News Dear Diane, I confess that I am the source of the problems on your Wednesday, July 9, 2014, ABC World News show. Here’s what happened. I was visiting my friend, Faye Kenooz who is one of the junior editors for your show.  She was editing the segment and asked […]

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Kerry-shhh

John Kerry: Thank God for al-Nusra!

As President Obama proposes to raise the level of US involvement in Syria and Iraq, I sat down with Secretary of State John Kerry to discuss the roles of Jabhat al-Nusra, the Islamic State in Iraq and the Levant (ISIL) and the countries that all know what is better for Iraq and Syria than do […]

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promised-land-1000

Israel to promote decolonization “even in Palestine”

On the heels of Israel’s appointment to the vice chairmanship of the UN Special Committee on Decolonization, Israeli spokesperson Amerigo Ben Columbus is seeking to assure skeptics that Israel takes its responsibilities seriously. “We intend to pursue an end to colonization everywhere, including Africa, the Americas, and even in Palestine,” he stated. Palestinian officials had […]

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Obama speech

Draft of Obama Speech

The following, which was delivered to me by a confidential source, is an apparent draft of a speech to be delivered by U.S. President Barack Obama to the American people.  It is full of amendments and changes that I have not had time to remove, and it may be incomplete.  However, I publish it for […]

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Tomahawk launch a

Assad agrees to cooperate in “symbolic strike” against Syria

The Assad regime in Syria today agreed to cooperate in a “symbolic strike” against itself.  “We understand the need for the U.S. to maintain its prestige and credibility,” said a Syrian government official, on condition of anonymity, “and if bombing some unused installation in the middle of nowhere will make them feel better, we’re willing […]

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angry mob

Obama constituency overwhelmingly supports war with Syria

Despite a Reuters/Ipsos poll showing that only 9% of Americans support military intervention in Syria, the White House today assured the public that a more recent and reliable poll leaves no doubt that the President’s constituency favors war. The poll was conducted by Defense Industries Systems Information, Inc. (DIS Information).   It shows that 99.9% prefer […]

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Artist rendering of U.S. foreign policy

US vows retaliation for rebel chemical weapon use

  The United States today assured the world that the “red line” against chemical weapons use applies equally to both the Assad government in Syria and the rebel forces.  “We are not hypocrites,” said White House spokesperson Janus Touphaisse. “We have the same standards for everyone.” I met later with Mr. Touphaisse for further details. […]

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Peace Process

Netanyahu, Abbas agree to peace talks; listening doubtful

This reporter has gained exclusive access to the agreements between Palestinian Authority President Mahmoud Abbas and Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu that would allow the twenty-year old peace talks between Israel and the Palestinian Authority to resume.  The arrangements were brokered by U.S. Secretary of State John Kerry.  Here are some details: The talks will […]

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Samantha Power completes her training programme

Samantha Power: Israel to replace US on Security Council

Samantha Power, President Barack Obama’s nominee to replace outgoing U.S. Ambassador to the United Nations, Susan Rice, has promised to push for a UN Security Council seat for Israel. (Loyalty to Israel is considered a prerequisite for high office, and creative ways of advancing Israel’s agenda are often rewarded with career advancement.) “The United States […]

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Snowden CIA

“Snowden still working for us” says CIA

Reliable sources in the ICU section of the CIA confirmed to this reporter that whistle-blower Edward Snowden is “still working for us” and “doing a great job.” My puzzlement elicited further explanation.  “We have more than a million people involved in some kind of surveillance.  It was bound to become public at some time, so […]

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palin peace

Sarah Palin urges non-intervention and caution in Syria

Former U.S. Vice Presidential candidate Sarah Palin encouraged moderation and caution with respect to U.S. intervention in Syria, and denounced U.S. President Barack Obama for heeding former President Bill Clinton, former Defense Secretary Leon Panetta, former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton and other extremist voices urging military escalation.  Palin also made a point of showing […]

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Christian terror strikes Norway

Non-Muslims worry about backlash following attack by non-Muslim

Note from Barb Weir:  The following is a “guest” piece from another budding journalist, Per Voerstinker.  I hope to receive more from this writer. Following the brutal murder of a Pakistani British man in London, the internet abounds with fears of backlash against the non-Muslim community. Shared through Twitter and Facebook, non-Muslims throughout the world […]

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ExxonMobil Spokesperson Patrick "Mr. Exxon" Mcginn extolls the virtues of the Mayflower, Arkansas oil spill in the US

ExxonMobil assures oil spill will actually help water, fish and birds

An ExxonMobil Spokesman, Patrick Mcginn, met with reporters at a press conference today to respond to questions about the oil spill in Mayflower, Arkansas.  Asked what position he held in the company, Mr. McGinn responded, “Spokesman”. “Of course you’re the spokesperson,” responded the reporter, “but what is your actual position, so that we may know […]

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Cardiac arrest

Israel: Never mind the bleeding, it was cardiac arrest

According to Israeli authorities, 30-year-old Palestinian prisoner Arafat Jaradat died of cardiac arrest five days after being arrested on February 18, 2013. Because of doubts, however, I asked to interview the prison medical examiner who had listed the cause of death. “Of course,” replied the Press Officer, “just be sure to pass through the Israeli […]

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Heads up

Drones kill more people with fewer casualties

U.S. Senator Lindsey Graham, who is a member of the Senate Select Committee on Intelligence, revealed to a North Carolina Rotary Club last Thursday that CIA drones had achieved 4700 targeted assassinations (to use the Israeli term), mostly in the last few years. His office was not answering inquiries, perhaps because the figures are considered […]

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child patent 1

Monsanto seeks patent on child

Biotechnology giant Monsanto Corporation announced today that it is seeking a patent on one of its research employee’s children. “If the patent is granted,” said Monsanto attorney Seth “Kendall” Waxman”, “this organism cannot be used for further reproduction without Monsanto permission – usually in return for a royalty fee negotiated with the customer.  In fact, […]

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Bob Simon extolls the virtues of Israel's Iron Dome weapons system.

Bob Simon brings peace to the Middle East

60 Minutes reporter Bob Simon waxed lyrical about Israel’s Iron Dome weapons system.  “…a technological marvel, a cutting-edge weapon of war that even some pacifists might come to love. Instead of killing people, Iron Dome saves them.” “Will Israel’s ‘Iron Dome’ help bring peace?” asked the 60 Minutes website approvingly. With this in mind, Simon […]

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Netanyahu 6a

Netanyahu: Please trust your friendly security agents

Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu today defended his country’s security agencies against public outcry over the death of a Jewish Israeli, himself  a security agent in the Mossad spy agency, who hanged himself in 2010 in a maximum security prison where he was being held in secret.  It is not considered unusual for Palestinian prisoners […]

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Pope resignation

Were the Pope and His Boss not Getting Along?

According to the Vatican, Pope Benedict XVI resigned for health reasons. However, this reporter has learned that there may be more to the story. Traditionally, the Pope and his Immediate Superior have shared authority, with infallibility being assigned to His Holiness while omniscience and omnipotence remained in the hands of The Almighty. Of late, however, […]

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Presidential-Drone-Hit3

Video Game Review: Presidential Drone Hit List

Summary Presidential Drone Hit List makes you work to find the people you’re supposed to kill, but the job of doing so is relatively easy and without risk. The Good Large variety of targets and theatres of operation Multiple tasks: gather intelligence, identify potential targets, get approval, assassinate Quick learning curve; doesn’t require nearly the […]

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Syrian air force

Syrian Aircraft Attack U.S. Naval Station in Norfolk, Virginia

U.S. government spokespersons today confirmed an attack by Syrian aircraft on the U.S. Naval Station in Norfolk, Virginia. The target appeared to be a shipment of Patriot surface-to-air missiles intended for Israel. Syrian officials neither confirmed nor denied responsibility, but had previously stated that the installation of weapons in Israel that might endanger their reconnaissance […]

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Buy-Now-Pay-Later

We need more debt!

My cousin Penin Diaz, a used car salesman, claims to have found the solution to stimulating the economy, ending the home foreclosure crisis and reducing unemployment (or at least the loss of income due to unemployment).  I unfortunately owe him a favor for marrying my sister, so I agreed to publish the following interview with […]

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Israeli Captain Ramit Dan-Dertroht arrests a 1-year-old Palestinian Terrorist in the south Hebron hills

Israeli Forces Arrest 1-year-old Palestinian Terrorist

Alert Israeli forces yesterday thwarted a potential terrorist attack by a 1-year-old Palestinian.  The terrorist, Qamar Awad, was among nineteen arrested on land in the south Hebron hills that is in the process of being liberated from Palestinians.  I spoke to the Israeli commander of the operation, Captain Ramit Dan-Dertroht.   Barb Weir:            Captain Dan-Dertroht, […]

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Corporate demo

U.S. Presidential Inauguration is for Corporations, not Unemployed

The U.S. National Park Service has denied a permit to the ANSWER Coalition for a demonstration in support of the unemployed in Freedom Plaza during the Presidential Inauguration on January 21, 2013 in Washington, D.C. Instead, the space will be reserved for guests of the Presidential Inauguration Committee, which are mainly wealthy corporations and campaign […]

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NRA Gaza Office

NRA Opens Gaza Chapter

The National Rifle Association announced today the opening of its new chapter in the Palestinian Gaza Strip. Wayne LePire, NRA Executionary Vice President, said the establishment of an NRA chapter in Gaza was long overdue. “We hope to achieve for Palestinians the same right that we enjoy as Americans to accumulate our own personal arsenals […]

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