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Abunimah Slays Jabberwocky

Ali Abunimah’s wikipedia entry got upgraded to the status of an official fighter against anti-semitism. In today’s pro-Palestinian activism it is the highest possible accolade — one may think of it as a star on the Righteous Palestinians Walk of Fame. Wikipedia claims (falsely) that Greta Berlin, the founder of Free Gaza, “posted a speech on social media blaming Jews for the Holocaust,” upon which Abunimah “demanded accountability.”
Legends are made of this. Also poems. Or at the very least awkward pastiches after Carroll, but the man deserves celebrating:

Ali Slays Jabberwocky

“Twas brillig, and the slighty toves
Facebooked and twittered in the wabe
All livid were the mayergoves
And the klein rats outgrabe

“Beware the Jabberwock, Ali!
The jews that bite the clowns that catch,
Beware the Harry bird and shun
The atzmon bandersnatch,”

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, dressed as a dame,
Came whiffling through the tweety wood
And burbled as it came.

One-two! One-two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
Awash in red, and with her head
He went galumphing back.

And hast thou slain the jabberwock?
Come to my arms, ‘bunimish boy!
O frabjous day! Calooh! Callay!
He chortled in his joy.

“Twas brillig, and the slighty toves
Facebooked and twittered in the wabe
All livid were the mayergoves
And the klein rats outgrabe

9 Responses to Abunimah Slays Jabberwocky

  1. David Holden October 10, 2012 at 7:51 pm #

    very nice Ariadna.

    ALIYAH BOOM
    I recently came across this on wikistumble. I haven’t yet found any trace of the novel, so I suspect that the wikistumble article has been written by the author in advance of its e-publication. Perhaps the full novel has not yet been finished. Despite the reason offered, I feel the ending, in its present form is weak. But it would be an ideal film script for Sam Bacile. DH
    Aliya Boom – in a searing and action-packed musical novel anti-Semitic campaigner and propalestinian e-activist Ali Abuminah’s demonic antihero Alad Gitzmon uses subliminal messages encoded in a matzo ad sax jingle to persuade six million Ashkenazim Jews to emigrate to Israel. Meanwhile his accomplice Khan al Kif has released the fiendish serppx worm into the Israeli Immigration Kontrol computer system, causing the new immigrants to be misclassified as Arabs. all six million are held in hastily constructed concentration camps, surrounded by fifty-foot high and three-metre concrete walls. The thickness of the concrete is mainly for the protection of the detainees, as, due to the extremely low price of real estate there, the camps have been sited around the Dimona nuclear weapons laboratory. The Talmudic authorities learn too late that the serpxx virus has wormed its way into the Dimona site’s central computer system. Underground silos are put on Red Alert by the rogue computer, the warheads are primed and inserted into IBCMs by robots, and detonations are set at 24 hours – cancel disabled. Prime Minister Ben Shamin is informed of the crisis whilst he is reading to a kindergarten class from a book called My Feral Rhino. He has a terrible decision to make – to release megadeath on every major world capital, or to sacrifice the interned Arabs. He is helicoptered to the Wailing Wall where he places his moral agony before the Creator, who, of course, knows the truth of the matter, and advises that the Goyim capitals must regretfully be sacrificed. Shamin orders the missiles to be launched, then phones his broker to make some put options. He visits his rebbe, who blesses him. There is soon another panic. General Schlomo, at the head of the Dimona Rapid Evacuation Procedure calls on a top secret phone line to inform Shamin that the missile launching systems have all been f_cked by the Serpxx worm. Shamin contacts the head of Mossad to get onto Sky and the other global news networks a.s.a.p. and order them to announce every five minutes that Iranian agents posing as art students are planning a terrorist nuke outrage in Israel. A famous peace activist, whom people are whispering may be a future Nobel Prizewinner, is tipped off by a Mossdnik acquaintance, and very quickly writes an article on his website telling all Arab Israeli citizens who are able to do so, to travel to Dimona to show solidarity with their Arab brethren. Meanwhile Shamin has ordered six coaches carrying Palestinian children to the Holocaust Museum, to be diverted to Dimona. He is very agitated. He rings his broker anxiously. A miracle! The broker had had a long liquid lunch and forgotten the put options. Shamin is able to cancel his order. Shamin’s secretary comes in whilst he is rejoicing. The scene becomes steamy. As they are putting their clothes back on they sing a duet, praising the benevolence of the Alm_ghty who looks after his chosen people, and has made them more intelligent and crafty than others. The work ends here, leaving the reader in suspense.

  2. Ariadna Theokopoulos October 11, 2012 at 12:00 am #

    Even tough all your posts on deLib are brief, dry and often boring (sorry) bits of factual information, I had a hunch that you wrote the suspenseful and enchanting work you reference above but were too modest to admit it.
    To verify my suspicion I went to amazon. com where I found you–David Golden– an author of computer tutorials.
    In the past I have posted reviews on amazon of books I had never read but happened to have an instinctive animus against–and I always trust my instincts. The reviews stayed there, but it appears, after my experience of today, that they no longer allow unapproved postings. So instead, they sent me this:
    Dear Ariadna,
    Thanks for submitting a customer review on Amazon. Your review could not be posted to the website in its current form. While we appreciate your time and comments, reviews must adhere to the following guidelines:
    http://www.amazon.com/review-guidelines
    We encourage you to revise your review and submit it again. A few common issues to keep in mind:

    ColdFusion MX with Dreamweaver MX
    ~New Riders Press

    Your review should focus on specific features of the product and your experience with it. We do not allow profane or obscene content. This applies to adult products too.
    We welcome your honest opinion about products – positive or negative. We do not remove reviews because they are critical. We believe all helpful information can inform our customers buying decisions. If you have questions about the product or opinions that do not fit the review format, please feel free to use the Customer Discussions feature on the product page.
    BOOK REVIEW
    Exciting and fresh, October 10, 2012
    By Ariadna (USA)
    This review is for: ColdFusion MX with Dreamweaver MX (Paperback)
    This is the most suspenseful cyberbook and small wonder: DG is also a thriller writer who uses a lot of his computer programming knowledge to good advantage in his plots. His latest, announced in the London Review of Books is described as: “a searing and action-packed novel in which the demonic antihero Alad Gitzmon (pursued by the brave anti-Semitic campaigner and propalestinian e-activist Ali Abuminah) uses subliminal messages encoded in a matzo ad sax jingle to persuade six million Ashkenazim Jews to emigrate to Israel. Meanwhile his accomplice Khan al Kif has released the fiendish serppx worm into the Israeli Immigration Kontrol computer system, causing the new immigrants to be misclassified as Arabs. All six million are held in hastily constructed concentration camps, etc etc etc

  3. Ariadna Theokopoulos October 11, 2012 at 12:02 am #

    What a terrible typing error– I made it once before and fool me once caught it.
    You are NOT after all the author of those tutorials…. H instead of G……
    All that work and heartache for nuthin…
    At least I found out I can no longer post book reviews on amazon…

  4. David Holden October 11, 2012 at 4:54 am #

    Ariadna, I took up your case with Sydney Bagelberg, an old college friend who now works for Amazon’s PR department. He emailed me as follows.
    David
    Ms Theokopoulos’ case was decided, as are all such referrals, by a completely automated process. The Amazon code is very detailed, and the review you referred to was judged to be OTT* (off the topic). I can assure you that each contribution is assessed purely on its own score and no records of any kind about any individual customers are available from our computer system. Since the matter was due to a misunderstanding – a mistaken identity – Ms Theokopoulos’ contributions will be as welcome in the future as they have been in the past.
    Syd
    *Amazon Guidelines For Authors 2240:iii:C
    However your work has not been entirely in vein. Your contextual editing has improved the wikistumble original. The parenthesized phrase pursued by A is a masterstroke- for it introduces the dichotomy between A as public author and A as secret agent involved in the plot of the book he is himself writing. The resulting empathic schizophrenia creates for the reader what the neoZizekian school calls a cognitive analogue of the bifocal monocle. as G.Atzmon has already indicated, to grasp this bifocality is a sine qua non for anyone seeking to develop a mature understanding of A’s fiction.

    • Ariadna Theokopoulos October 11, 2012 at 2:29 pm #

      Thank you so much, DH, for your efforts. I will let some times pass before depositing more book reviews there. In fact I think the endeavor in itself is worth recommending to others:
      –pick a book/an author that annoys you
      –write a Readers’ review avoiding my mistake (off topic); pretend you are analyzing the book and just… have fun.
      Think of it as ‘reverse hasbara’

  5. David Holden October 11, 2012 at 5:07 am #

    google search on matzo ad sax jingle:

    Abunimah Slays Jabberwocky – deLiberation

    http://www.deliberation.info/abunimah-slays-jabberwocky/

    1 day ago – … e-activist Ali Abuminah’s demonic antihero Alad Gitzmon uses subliminal messages encoded in a matzo ad sax jingle to persuade six million …

    still, i suppose the chances of anyone doing that search are slim, unless they come across the A’s wikistumble plug for his book

  6. S. "Hoss" Edward Samsel October 11, 2012 at 6:24 am #

    http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Operation_Snow_White

    • David Holden October 11, 2012 at 5:51 pm #

      nice one SHES – ah offen wondaz what murky bizniss thar Elron Hobbit critters’r’lible to be gettin’ up to. no good, that’s fer shure! some day soon gonna buy maself some lan’n’get all them crazies come live on mah ranch, yes sirree. Sirentologits, Jover’s Witlesses, Severnth Daze Adventurists, Salaf Eyes, Wahoo Biz, Hairy Readies, Looba Bitches, Israyli Sirenists…you name em, an ahm gonna study em good. cuz ba mah reckonin’, them folks is jes’ takin’ up too much space as things are. an thy go roun’ hollerin’ n spittin in other folks faces an all, zif jes’one whirl ain’t ’nuff fer tha likes of they kine.

  7. Blake October 11, 2012 at 10:23 pm #

    The truth hurts the zioscum

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