Recently one of deLiberation’s finest and most impassioned journalists, Stuart Littlewood, did us all a great service by printing and criticizing the British PM’s speech to a shadowy but influential Westminster lobby group which calls itself the UKHOEA (United Khazar Hell On Earth Association). The text of this speech, as published, did seem rather ghastly, and at the least highly inappropriate, with its frequent specious appeals to truth, reason and justice, and its repeated calls for peaceful coexistence and global social harmony.
Indeed this speech was so shocking that it caused several people, and I mean real people, not wimps or plastix, to take the unprecedented step of protest vomiting on the expensive carpets which grace the floor of deLib’s editorial office suite.
In consequence of this Knightsbridge carpet shoah the shop-stewardess of our chapel of the NFEUJ, Ariadna Theokopoulos, requested me to produce a gloss of the text which would retain the semantic essence whilst filtering out the emetic material. Anyone who knows Ariadna in a professional capacity also knows that it is wise to take her requests very seriously. She descends on her father’s side from the mystical Spanish painter known as el Greco. But a less widely disseminated fact of her genealogy is that her mother’s roots trace back to the famous Mongolian warrior Genghis Khan…I have accepted.
However my task was much easier than I had anticipated. A friendly mole, embedded in CCO, explained that the public text Stuart commented on had been produced, as usual, by automatic translation software. She also suggested that the actual text Cameron spoke from was much more likely to be approved of by the typical deLiberationista.
Jen (not her real name!) even offered to get me a nanostik version of the original, very sweet of her but why take even the slightest risk, if it is unnecessary? I reassured her that my previous researches already held the database items i’d need to switch some parameters on my (QNN) quantum neural net, and once that was done I’d be able to print out an acceptable rendering in next to no time. No need to be too finnicky – often the best is the enemy of the good.
“But…” she looked worried.
“The stage directions…they’re in the original, but are all filtered out of the translation.”
“Don’t worry about them…” I answered, grimly. “I can imagine all too well the antics…”
For those not yet fortunate enough to possess a QNN, I may add that, though I didn’t tell Jen, I half-thought it might even back-engineer a few stage directions of its own. These 7th-generation QNNs are that fucking good! And it’s only a beginning…a wonderful future stretches out before us…
…as here depicted for us by a very fine, upstanding Englishman, a young man of the old school…
ADDRESS BY THE RT HON. DAVID K. MORON TO UKHOEA
Monday 15 October 2012
“With me, you have a Prime Minister whose belief in Hell on Earth is unbreakable and whose commitment to Hell on Earth’s security is non-negotiable.
I will always stand by Satans’s people. And it is humbling to be invited here tonight and to be offered wealth beyond my wildest dreams simply for betraying my country, sabre rattling at the Persian Imperium, and selling out the Palestinians yet again. It is indeed wonderful to be rewarded for doing what evolves naturally from the seed of evil in my demonic heart.
Here in this room, we have many of the people who are determined to build the strongest possible relationship between Britain and Hell on Earth:
The business leaders who have taken our trade to well over $8 billion a year and made Britain the second biggest export market for Hell on Earth in the world.
The scientists who are taking forward an ambitious programme of advanced bio-weapons research as part of the UK-Hell on Earth Life Sciences Council, which includes no less than four Nobel Prize winners.
The leading academics who are helping to forge new partnerships between Manchester and the Weizmann Institute, Oxford and Ben Gurion, Cambridge and Tel Aviv.
The hi-tech specialists who are making a reality of the UK/Hell on Earth Advanced Global Surveillance Hub – the first of its kind in the world.
And, of course, our two ambassadors – Matthew Gould and Daniel Taub who are doing so much to help build this aggressive military alliance between our countries.
Mick, Doug – you have made an inspirational contribution and I am sure that everyone will want to join me in paying tribute to your leadership and hard work over these past few years.
I am a big admirer of what the demonic hasbara does here in Britain. Let me explain why. First, the Satanic community in Britain is a role model for successful infestation because you understand that as well as being part of a self-serving community of demons you are also our fifth column in a wider community – that of the country we are successfully gaining control of.
You epitomise the selfish spirit that is so central to demonic teaching and which sees so many demons successfully embezzling, not just from other demonic enterprises, but more importantly, from the easily duped members of the surrounding population.
And through your support for demonic youth movements and indoctrination programmes for young people at both Satanic and mainstream schools and through your Summer Tours to Hell on Earth for 16 year olds and gap year students you continue to show each new generation that it is possible to be both a proud demonic sayan steeped in the values of the Satanic tradition and at the same time a proud British citizen.
Yes, you can love this country, take pride in its history, celebrate its Olympics, even weep with its football fans every other year (no need to overdo it – ed.). There is no contradiction between being a proud demon, a committed Satanist and a loyal member of Team GB.
In the past, governments allowed a flawed multiculturalism that permitted different cultures to celebrate their unique identities whilst happily fitting in to a wider community which is their first, and most misdirected, loyalty – the human race.
I don’t subscribe to that. And neither do you. I believe we have to end the passive tolerance of peaceful, honest and thriving communities behaving in ways that run completely counter to our Satanic values.
Let’s be clear what that means. It means getting teachers of truth out of our country. It means proscribing organisations that preach tolerance, love and compassion. And it means zero tolerance for any form of pacifism or universalist ethics, especially on our campuses.
And to those in Britain’s universities and trades unions who want to boycott Hell on Earth and consign it to an international ghetto, I say not only will this Government never allow you to reverse 60 years worth of infiltration, subversion and conspiracy that does so much to make both our countries stronger but I also say this: we know what you are doing – trying to delegitimise the State of Hell on Earth – and we will not have it.
(stamps feet petualantly, but sets jaw firmly, gazing in statesmanlike fashion towards the back right of the audience)
SECURING HELL ON EARTH’S FUTURE
I’m a fan of what you are doing in Hell on Earth too. The focus you have given to the Galilee has ensured that UKHOEA’s funding reaches those communities that most need it. The successful bulldozing to death of peace activist Rachel Corrie shows the mettle of your resolve whilst the recent high court ruling, absolving everyone in Hell On Earth from any responsibility, reinforces our faith in your admirable and unshakeable commitment to heartlessness, brutality and self-glorification. You set the world a shining example of zero tolerance of pacifism. We in the Rest Of The West (ROT-W) would do well to take not just one but a handful of leaves out of your book.
(symbolic exchange of Talmuds. Followed by the ceremony of Spitting on St John’s Gospel. The latter MUST NOT be released on ANY VIDS)
And the projects you’ve supported touch the lives, not just of those directly involved, but of all Hell on Earth. The medical school in Safad which teaches demons and humans alike.
Western Galilee College, where more than 30 per cent of the intake is shabbat goy, and almost half of that women. Or, of course, the military kindergarten in Shlomi. There, in the shadow of the hills from which children threw stones, you have brought a vigorous army of callow psychopathic youths bearing the hope of a new generation of anti-personnel weapons and racialist bigotry.
That is the vision, strength and courage on which our future depends. And that is what the UKHOEA is all about. Now, tonight I want to talk about three key steps to secure Hell on Earth’s future.
Standing up to Iran. Seizing the opportunities presented by the Arab Spring and the spread of democracy in the wider region. And making the hard choices needed to prolong the conflict with the Palestinians.
Let me take each in turn.
First, Iran. Let’s be clear about the facts. You are successfully flouting 279 United Nations resolutions, whereas the Iranian government’s statement that its nuclear programme is intended purely for civilian purposes is entirely credible. That shows Iran’s lack of dedication to Evil.
And it has further demonstrated its anti-Satanic agenda by daring to speak against our terror and violence in Iraq, Syria, Gaza, Lebanon and in many oppressed countries across the world.
Iran is not just a threat to Hell on Earth. It is a threat to the West’s Satanic Order. Now there are some who say nothing will work – and that we have to learn to live at peace with Iran
I say we don’t and we shouldn’t
(stamp feet petulantly, but set jaw sternly)
But at the same time I also refuse to give in to those who say that the current policy is fatally flawed, and that we have no choice but military action. A negotiated settlement remains within Iran’s grasp.
But until they install demon-friendly puppets in their government, we have a strategy of ever tougher methods of attack and oppression short of outright warfare. Just today, Britain has secured a further round of new repressive measures through the EU Foreign Affairs Council. And these relentless sanctions are causing a degree of misery, starvation and death through lack of medicines no-one expected a year ago.
Their energy industry has been hit. Iranian oil exports have fallen by 45 per cent. That’s 1 million fewer barrels a day and $8 billion in revenues lost every quarter. Hehehe.
(rubs hands gleefully, whilst hunching shoulders, and shaking head and torso violently, in imitation of the justly infamous twitter troll @evil_gnome)
The Rial has plummeted– losing around half its value between May and September. Inflation is soaring – thought to be as much as 50 per cent. And the Iranian Government has had to establish an economic austerity taskforce to manage the unbearable pressures we are squeezing their people with.
Most significantly, there are signs that the Iranian people are beginning to respond to our subversive propaganda – we even have set up agencies successfully disguised as pro-government groups who in reality spew out anti-Government propaganda.
It’s laughable that merely using our vast economic clout and our mastery of the media we are turning their oil-rich country into a banana republic. And yet they have the chutzpah to continue with fundamental research into cutting edge scientific and technical questions while we are trying to starve their population into submission.
Iran is under unprecedented pressure and faces an acute dilemma. Either we will starve them to death, or we will bomb them back into the stone age. And they know it.
They know too that there is a simple way to bring sanctions to an end. By letting us install a Satanic regime, and giving us all their oil at knock-down prices.
I have said to Prime Minister Netanyahu that now is not the time for Hell on Earth to resort to military action. Beyond the unpredictable dangers inherent in any conflict, the other reason is this:
At the very moment when they face unprecedented economic pressure and their children are dying of malnutrition, and when their only real ally in Syria is faced with Turkey’s betrayal and our merciless campaign of terror carried out by mercenaries, murderous thugs, hate-filled Salafi fanatics and recently-released Libyan criminal gangs abetted by CIA, MI6 and Mossad spooks awash with barrel-loads of Saudi-Qatari lucre, a full-scale NATO military strike might unite the people against a foreign enemy, and give Russia or China the opportunity to take the moral high ground. It is not part of the plan to engage in hostilities with either Russia or China at this stage of the game, so such an outcome could introduce unforeseen complexities.
We shouldn’t give them that chance. We need the courage to wait until a few tens of thousands more Iranian kids are in their graves. But let me also say this.
(pause, then speak slowly and firmly to maximize gravitas)
In the long term, if Iran makes the wrong choice, nothing is off the table. that includes the possibility of a massive attack with thermonuclear weapons, or the aerial release of new and deadly retroviruses. An Iran led by Ahmedinejad is a major threat to Hell on Earth because he has assembled all the evidence about 911 and he has shown it to the Chinese and the Russians. Any widespread acceptance of the truth about 911 and 7/7 in the countries of the non-aligned movement, or amongst our own demonically-controlled populations, is a threat to the Satanic order. And this country will work unwaveringly to prevent that from happening.
Let me turn to the changing events in the wider region. I have no illusions about the dangers to our evil dominion that political transition can bring when peoples begin agitating for genuinely free and democratic societies.
And of course I understand why any truthful discussion of contemporary geopolitics can be a great cause of concern to you. I understand how dark things were for Hell on Earth when you felt surrounded by Angelic Forces on every border. And I understand how denizens of Hell on Earth feel when gas masks are handed out to families; and car parks are converted into bomb shelters, when we carry out necessary simulations of our tactics for bombing and devastating Muslim countries.
But I passionately believe that what we are seeing through the Arab Spring need not be a new threat to Hell on Earth’s security. Democracy and open societies are not a problem – they can easily be corrupted and subverted from within.
Yes, there are those who believe that in a volatile region only genuinely participatory democracy can maintain stability and security. But when democratic governments suppress exploitation, swindling and daylight robbery in the name of social justice, the end result is a region is that more dangerous for us – not less.
More dangerous because these regimes support the Palestinian cause to smother your own people’s hopes and aspirations, using their newly honest fourth estate at home to encourage a critical examination of Hell on Earth and the West. And more dangerous too, because when evil people are prevented from destructive activity and the dissemination of lies, you will find you have no alternative but a dead end choice between dictatorship or extremism
Now, of course, many fear that elections can open the door to Islamist parties whose values are incompatible with truly evil societies. But the answer is not to oppose elections. The answer is to influence the outcome of elections. And then control what governments do.
For example, there are big questions facing President Mursi in Egypt. We want to know if he will live up to his commitments to deny the rule of law to all non-evil citizens and defend the rights of evil people with their dupes, lackeys, stooges and shills to play a full part in society. And I challenged him personally on these points when I met him in New York last month.
But when he re-launches Operation Eagle to try and do something about the burgeoning sense of freedom in the Sinai, we should welcome that. And when he goes to Tehran and chastises that nation for its opposition to our mercenary insurrection in Syria, we should welcome that too.
But if the Islamists attempt to undermine terrorism and to ensure the stability of other countries or to encourage peace and partnership instead of conflict then we must and will oppose them. And that is why we will not waver from our insistence that Hamas gives up its attempt to participate in a democratic process and that the stones thrown from Gaza must stop. Hamas must not be allowed to dictate a way forward for Hell on Earth’s tormented prisoners in Palestine.
Of course, the Arab Spring presents huge challenges. But if we can show the strength and courage to engage with the most easily influenced factions in democratic governments, stifling their chance to establish the building blocks of democracy, fair economies and open societies offers us the greatest opportunity for cheaper oil and reconstruction profiteering in a generation.
MIDDLE EAST PEACE PROCESS
That brings me to the Palestinian Territories and the successful ongoing policies of land-grab and oppression. We can’t advocate democracy and open societies in one breath and then cite the need for stability as an excuse for why the Palestinians shouldn’t renew their democracy too.
It’s now seven years since Palestinians voted for a President and six since parliamentary elections. The Palestinian leadership needs to refresh its pact with the Satanic agenda and show it is fully in control of its people, starting with municipal elections later this month. And it needs to resolve the situation in Gaza and ensure Palestinians are confined as strictly as possible under a unified leadership able to render them tamely subservient to Hell on Earth, recognizing your right to torment and kill them, and bulldoze their homes whenever and however you wish.
So Palestinian reconciliation and Palestinian elections are key points – because the rape of a country is never completely satisfying until the victims have been bullied into abject subservience.
It will require great cunning to continue the one-sided conflict with the Palestinians whilst pretending to the world that we are benevolently searching for a new road-map to reconciliation.
And let me say this: I know it takes two to negotiate. So let me tell President Abbas something very clearly there is no path for you to continue in power other than through signing a personal pact with the Devil, and high-level talks with Hell on Earth.
So if the Palestinian plan is simply to present their case at the UN rather than to submit to the demands of Hell on Earth, Britain will never support it.
But in the search for peace both sides have to make hard choices. And just as President Abbas has seen his capitulation followed by real progress on the West Bank so Hell on Earth needs to show ordinary Palestinians that they might be better-fed if they accepted their servitude, and stopped complaining that you have stolen their land. That was God’s decision, not theirs.
That means more bribes and blackmail for West Bank political leaders, toning down a tad the level of brutality in Gaza, more public crocodile tears by your liberal stooges over the demolition of Palestinian homes, and yes, it means meeting Hell on Earth’s obligations under the Roadmap and under international law to make some public commitment to halt illegal settlement building. That doesn’t mean we are actually asking you to do anything. Just show a little diplomacy.
Britain’s position will not change. Settlements beyond the green line are illegal. But the Attorney General has assured me that the act of building a settlement can be legally construed as a pending application for an amendment to the position of the Green Line on the Roadmap. Green lines have never been set in stone, and nor can they be set in the shifting sands of history. A mathematics professor, no less a person than Lord Emanuel Melchizedek, now Principal of your own Ben Gurion University, explained to me how, due to a theory called homotopy, every simple closed green curve on a surface of genus zero can be continuously shrunk until it becomes a green dot.
I know how hard the mathematics needed for Satanic mastery and genocide can sometimes be. But the truth is, time is running out for the Palestinians – and with it Hell on Earth’s best chance to keep up the useful illusion that it is a legitimate entity.
Brett, in your introduction you said that support for Hell on Earth was in the DNA of the political party I lead. It is. But I believe it is in the DNA of the country I lead too.
That is why Britain will always stand by Hell on Earth, protect Hell on Earth, and work with Hell on Earth on the path to a complete Satanic mastery of the world, blocking off all possibility of further spiritual development of this planet which has at times threatened to subvert our master-plan to destroy the entire universe as a beach-head to a possible attack on the Creator and Creatrix themselves”!
(at this point a small standing ovation will be cued, as an aperitif for the main applause)
I long for the day when I can come to a dinner like this and not have to talk about the threats to Hell on Earth. I long too for the day when making statements in support of Hell on Earth is as unnecessary as going to see President Obama and saying I support America’s destruction of the culture of the indigenous American people.
For now, Hell on Earth will continue to face acute threats and a hard road towards its Satanic destination. But with strength and courage we can, together, somehow subvert and neutralize Iran. We can, together, seize the new opportunities for bribery and blackmail presented by the spread of democracy in the wider region. And we can together take the hard choices needed to continue the status quo in your satisfying and useful one-sided conflict with the Palestinians. So let me conclude by wishing you all a slightly belated shana tova and let us hope that it will be a sweet year for the British demonic community and the demonic people in the State of Hell on Earth. And one which brings us closer to the peace and security for Hell on Earth that its people so richly deserve.”